Baby picture on mobile screen saver. Tick
Baby picture on laptop screen saver. Tick
Baby pictures all over my office. Tick
Baby picture overload. Definitely not!
Although I have been gradually getting back in to work-mode over the past weeks, I am now having to focus even more on work, if for no other reason than to fund the ever-expanding list of baby ‘essentials’ for Little One.
It is always an interesting ‘debate’ – when and if mums should go back to work. In this day-and-age, more and more women go back to work after having babies, but it is with a lot of reluctance, even if some won’t admit it.
However career-orientated we may have been before Mother Nature took hold and worked her miracle, becoming a mummy does change us. I have always been very focused and driven by my work, but from the moment I looked in to the eyes of my new born baby something changed dramatically. My whole inner-being shifted from ‘me’ to an unconditional selfless dedication and devotion to my beautiful daughter... nothing else matters.
So the first few times I had to leave Little One for meetings was beyond horrendous. I felt a ripping sensation from within, being separated from my little baby. It was all consuming, making the meetings pointless really as I could only think about Little One and worrying if she was alright. The immense guilt that took over me was unbearable. I genuinely thought I would not be able to cope going back to work.
So how can I stop being a mother 24/7 to go back to work? The answer – I don’t! Whether I am bouncing Little One on my knee, singing ‘row row row your boat’ or I am typing away on my laptop, I am always being first and foremost a mum. I never stop thinking about Little One and her needs and it is the very thought of one of her award-winning smiles and contagious giggle-fits that gets me through the hours when I am working.
Honestly - would I go back to work if I didn’t have to? I don’t know. I don’t have that luxury, so I have tailored my working life to ensure I get to be with Little One as much as possible and that her love of life and constant yearning for learning and exploration is not interrupted or affected in any way. It is all about balance and every day I am striving to ensure I achieve the baby business balance. At the moment the scales are very much weighted in Little One’s favour, but you know what? That is absolutely fine by me.
PS. A massive thank you to my wonderful nanny who is not only a treasure, but now a good friend too... part the furniture already!